The Friend Zone: What's New?
If you think you're the only one who's ever been trapped in unrequited love with a friend, well, think again. The friend zone has been haunting people since time immemorial. Though it's true that many romantic relationships start from friendships, we can't change the fact that there are far too many instances where feelings are just not reciprocated.
A lot of people think that the friend zone only applies for men, but no! There are women who experience the pain and torture of being "just a friend" to someone they love.
It often starts with finding a good friend who likes spending time with you, talks to you about random things, and treats you extra special. This goes on for months, even years!
And you just can't help but fall in love with his kindness, his gentleness, and the way he smiles at you. Finally, after a long while, someone is treating you right. And then you start thinking about him everyday, about how nice would it be if you were together as a couple.
But one day, out of the blue, he suddenly tells you: "I love you, and you are like a sister to me," everything stops. Then it hits you, you are in the friend zone!
Now don't worry, your dream love story does not have to end this way. You can still add a plot twist and make him fall for you, and we think we can help you get out of the friend zone into being his girl!
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It's a Trap: 6 Signs You're Falling Into the Friend Zone!
If your friend has not yet called you his BFF or his little sister, then you're probably still confused if he's hitting on you or he's just super friendly with you. Self-diagnosis is quite tricky for this matter, mainly because everything a guy does for you will automatically feel like it's something else, especially when you have feelings for them. So before jumping to conclusions, try to assess yourself through the following signs and see if you have really been placed in his friend zone or not.
1. He has a not-so-sweet pet name for you.
Nothing screams "You're my bestie" more than a pet name that already has your label on it. If he calls you "buddy," "friend," "dude," or something similar, then you better go run for the hills because he's serious when he says you're his "buddy."
Unlike girls, guys aren't codes that you have to decipher. More often than not, they literally mean what they say. So, if he just thinks of you as a friend, then he will say it to you outright.
2. You go on Group "Dates" together.
You may think that a guy friend is really into you when he brings you to lunch with some of his friends, or when he's always sitting beside you when you have movie nights with
the rest of the gang, or when he goes shopping with you and your girl friends. But if that's the only time you spend together, then you might want to hold your horses down for a bit. If a guy is really into you, he would want to spend time with you, preferably alone. So if he hasn't asked you out yet, then you're probably just a friend to him.
3. He talks about other hot girls with you.
You probably have heard about all the hot girls he has and is currently dating. No, it's not what you think it is; he's not trying to make you jealous or anything. He's just really comfortable with you that he can share these things with you just as how he shares things with his bros. You can only assume that there may be a spark between the both of you when he finally adds you to his "hot girls list."
4. Your conversations are always innocent.
One of the top indicators that a guy might actually like you is sexual tension. If a guy never texts you something dirty or is not that touchy with you, there's a big chance that he just sees you as a good friend, or worse, as one of his bros! When a guy sees this way, sexual tension is almost always absent. I mean, would you ever try and text your brother something sexy? No way!
5. He makes you play the waiting game.
Now this one is a giveaway. If you texted him and it took hours (or days!) for him to reply, sorry girl, but he's not interested. Don't even try to defend and say that "he's just busy." When a guy is too busy to text you, it means he is not willing to give you the time you deserve.
6. HE HAS A GIRLFRIEND!
This needs no explaining. He's taken! If you're not his girlfriend, then you are in the friend zone. No matter how sweet you think he is towards you, if he's already someone else's man, then he's probably being your sweet friend.
Am I Stuck in the Friend Zone?
Common Mistakes That Got You Stuck on the Friend Zone
There are lots of reasons why men put women in the friend zone. Listed below are some things that you might have done that turned him off.
1. You're hiding the woman in you.
Okay, okay, you're already comfortable with him, but that's not a valid excuse to skip your beauty routines and OOTDs. The thing is, whether you like it or not, humans (especially men) are visual people. Therefore, they tend to notice those who put effort on their appearance compared to those who do not do anything at all.
Now, this does not mean that you have to go to the salon every time you hang out. A simple and cute outfit with light make up will do.
2. You act like "one of the guys."
When you have been friends with a guy for a very long time, and he hasn't made a move on you, he probably already has considered you as "one of the guys." You became too familiar with him that you act a lot like his guy friends. This, in turn, will make him treat and see you like one.
One perfect example of this is teasing. A lot of girls are so fond of teasing their guy friends hoping that they can be "closer" to them. Little do they know that this teasing only sends them deeper to the friend zone. It is true that this act can cultivate intimacy and closeness, but too much teasing will only secure you a place to the "do not date list."
3. You are too needy and desperate.
If you really like a guy, don't force things to happen between the two of you. Generally, men like the thrill of winning women over. Being too pushy will only make him feel like you're "easy-to-get," which can be a major turn off for him.
4. You're just not his type.
Unfortunately, this happens in a lot of situations and it's not your fault. If you are just not his type, why not become his type? Find the common denominators of his previous girls and see if you find something that you can apply to yourself. A little change wouldn't hurt, right? Just make sure that you don't become pretentious.
5. He thinks you're way out of his league.
On a brighter side, your friend might really be so attracted to you but thinks that he's not good enough. He might be one of those shy-type guys who are too afraid to tell you their feelings because he thinks that you're way out of his league.
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5 Tips on How to Get Out of the Friend Zone
Hey, don't panic! Yes, you're in the friend zone, but that does not mean you're doomed. It doesn't matter how long you've been in love with your friend; you can still make the tables turn and have that love life you've been dreaming of. How?
1. Expand your circle.
Make time to meet new people, hangout with new friends and tell him all the fun things you did with them. Make him a little jealous and show him that your world does not revolve around him. A little competition and jealousy can make him more eager to have your time and affection.
2. Add a little mystery.
Be a little mysterious. Truth be told, men like the mystery as much as women do. So spice up your "friendship" by acting a little different from time to time. You can also avoid texting him about literally everything! Keep him intrigued and let him earn the right to know.
3. Ask him to help you out.
Make him feel needed; ask him to help you out with some home repairs or renovations. Instead of always doing things for him, why not make him do things for you? Studies show that people will like you more when they do favors for you. It's about allowing them to invest in you, rather than you investing in them.
4. Tell him the truth.
Confessing may be one of the hardest things you can do. It requires a lot of courage, but at least you can get an answer out of it. Just be prepared for the worst, since he may or may not reciprocate the feelings you have for him.
5. Stop acting like a friend.
If your goal is to become the "girlfriend," then stop acting like "just a friend." That means no more teasing him too much, calling him bro, and not dressing up when you go out together! Find out how you can slowly change the way he sees you. It will most likely change the type and dynamics of the friendship you both have.
Rejection: The Dead End
Rejection is the worst.
After all the time you've invested on him, and all the love and affection you've poured out for him, being there every time he needs you; all of those just went down the drain because he simply didn't like you back. You might have even tried all the tips we've given, and he still sees you as a friend. You might think that it's the end, but we're here to tell you that no, it's not.
It's okay to be sad and hurt about it, but never blame yourself. Learn how to accept the fact that things just don't always go according to plan. Let go, and move on. As cliché as it sounds, but there is plenty of fish in the sea.
You will definitely find the right one someday. Rejection is the sign that you have to burn all your romantic fantasies with your friend to the ground. There is no point in fighting a dead cause, the best thing to do now is to focus on yourself.
Moving on from rejection is hard, but it can be easier if you know how to deal with it. And since we care about you, we made a list to help you put on the process:
1. Stop pretending that you're okay.
You're heartbroken. It's okay to admit it and allow yourself to grieve. Eat, cry all night, do whatever is necessary to pour your heart out. Deal with your emotions instead of suppressing them. Go easy on yourself and let yourself heal.
2. Talk to a friend.
Know that you don't have to go through this alone. Talk to a friend about how you feel. His/Her presence is good emotional support for you, and at the same time, you will have a third person perspective on what is going on.
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3. Create some distance.
Even if you have both agreed to still stay friends, keeping distance may save you from further heartache. If your friend truly cares about you, he will understand. Sometimes to properly heal, you have to give each other a break. It's going to be tough at first, but it's going to be worth it.
4. Focus on yourself.
After you have accepted and cried over the rejection, the next thing to do is to take care of yourself. Find new hobbies, learn a new skill, or travel to places you've never been before. Focus on yourself and on improving your well-being.
5. Don't give up on love.
People who have faced rejection often become afraid of loving again. Don't allow yourself to miss another chance for love just because of a denial. Know your worth. You are amazing, and you will meet someone who will love you the way you deserve.